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24 ounces of Freedom

Yesterday's itinerary:

4:30 am - Smack the alarm button. Remove the cat's paw from my forehead. Begrudgingly crawl out of bed.

4:35 am - Curse appearance in the mirror. Half-assedly try to straighten hair that is matted sideways to the back of my head.

4:36 am - Get in the shower to wash hair that was just washed the fucking night be-fucking-fore.

4:38 am - Put a Susan B. Anthony sized dollop of shampoo in the palm of my hand. Curse blasted new short haircut as excess shampoo drips on my shoulder.

4:45 am - Attempt to blow dry new hair into presentable manner.

5:00 am - Grab folders for my meeting. Reach for travel bag that is no longer where it used to be.

5:02 am - Curse at the cat for swiping at my hand as I dug in the back of the closet for the damn travel bag.

5:04 am - Give up the search for the damn travel bag. Resort to use non-professional appearing leather backpack for travel bag.

5:05 am - Start the car. Proceed to paint makeup on my puffy eyelids. Curse the morning.

5:15 am - Get in the car. Despite 10 minutes of "warming up" the car is still damn cold thanks to the blasted cold that is a midwestern January morning.

5:45 am - Arrive at the airport. Pull into short-term parking. Shake fist at the $18/day sign.

6:00 am - Arrive in the terminal. Dig in the crappy backpack for online check-in document.

6:02 am - Walk up to the counter at the NationalCinnamon Roll place (aka the only fucking place open in the damn airport). Wait for the lady behind the counter to lookup from icing her buns and sell me an overpriced Diet Coke.

6:04 am - Call out to the Bun Icing Lady.

6:06 am - Waive arms frantically at the the Bun Icing Lady. A line begins to form.

6:07 am - Retreat from the Cinnamon Roll stand while shaking my fist at the still Bun Icing Lady.

6:09 am - Arrive at super long $tarbuck$ line.

6:11 am - Swallow my pride. Get in the back of the line at the Cinnamon Role stand. Curse the Bun Icing Lady.

6:45 am - Shake my fist at the "Flight Delayed" notification.

6:52 am - Listen to the employee at the gate counter bad mouth her employer, the economy, Gogurt, the baggage handlers, the airplanes and the passengers who just boarded the last flight.

7:25 am - Board the "smallest plane in the fleet" of a national airline. Obey instructions to sit in the back of the plane to equally distribute the weight. Mind you, my seat is both an aisle and a window.

9:00 am - Arrive in Little Rock. Woo! Little Rock.

9:30 - 5:00 pm - Work

5:15 pm - Drink a beer with my colleagues and have dinner at a Little Rock eatery. Mmm. Beer.

6:15 pm - Fill up the rental car with gasoline. Purchase three (3) single 24 oz. cans of beer from the gas station.

6:40 pm - Proceed through security with one (1) 24oz. can of beer wrapped in a paper bag in my crappy backpack. Try not to appear suspicious.

7:05 pm - Board the "smallest plane in the fleet" of a national airline. Sit near the back of the plane to avoid detection of one (1) 24oz. can of beer wrapped in a paper bag.

7:13 pm - Take off.

7:14 pm - Enjoy one (1) 24oz. can of beer wrapped in a paper bag while flying from Little Rock to KC.

9:30 pm - Arrive at home, exhausted. Go directly to bed.

That was my day. I snuck beer on a comercial flight. Oh the thrill of it all. Somehow, it seemed fitting drinking a 24oz beer out of a paper bag while the bright city lights of Little Rock faded in the distance. Woo.

3:57 p.m. - January 18, 2005

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