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Two Dress Flower Girl

Wha - huh? Where am I? I've felt like that all weekend and especially today. I'm starting to dig out from under the work hell that fell upon me a week or more ago (I can't even remember - how bad is that?). My to do list is much shorter and less daunting. Of course I've left most of the hard stuff on the list, so that sucks. One of my to do's was to "Research Flower Girl Dresses." Those of you who read Jane's Journal will already know that I attacked that with a vengeance. In addition to trying on dresses last weekend, Jane graciously brought Holly to Kansas City and we embarked on a second trip that resulted in the most adorable Flower Girl Dress shoes I've ever seen.

Holly was quite pleased with her new kicks and bounded around the tiny shoe department until she ran into a display and commenced wailing. This didn't bode well on the handful of dresses I was holding, but the appearance of her beloved Grandma (my mom) did, and so she gleefully tried on three dresses. We chose one and then entered the ninth vortex of hell that is known as Working with Disgruntled Department Store Salespeople. Now mind you, I'm holding in my hands a dress that consists of no more than one yard of material and maybe 42 bugle beads and 26 sequins. Oh, and it had a light lining. This dress, in all its cuteness cost $70. So when Jane pointed out that one of the sequins was stained a weird red-orange color and that one of the bugle beads was missing, I deemed it necessary to ask for another dress. Which of course they didn't have. HOWEVER, the salesperson, in a rare moment of helpfulness had told me earlier that they could order in different sizes if I didn't find what I needed on the rack. She seemingly forgot this helpful tidbit when I approached the counter and asked that she order the same dress, same size but with embellishments intact, because she was convinced I should buy the dress in my hand and use the attached pouch of extra embellishments to fix the flaws. How dare she suggest that I do something domestic like sew! The horrors! In retrospect, I should've taken her advice. In order to have a new dress shipped to me, I had to fill out an archaic form that required the imprint of my credit card with no receipt. I would've bitched about that, however I was dealing with the bitch in the shoe department.

You see, the most adorable flower girl shoes in the world were found on the clearance rack. Only the specific size I needed was actually on one of the displays Holly had run into bounding about in the shoes. So in order to purchase them, I had to request their box from the salesperson in the shoe department. AND we'd been working under the assumption that the shoes in our hands were priced the same as the shoes on the rack. Which wasn't true. Because the shoes on the clearance rack were every size smaller or larger than the pair we held.. The size we wanted to purchase was regular price - 3 times as much as the clearance price. BASTARDS! When I asked the salesperson why, she replied with the exact same information she had just said which really pisses me off. I replied that I had heard what she said, but didn't understand how a shoe one size bigger and a shoe one size smaller could both be on clearance, but that this particular size was regular price. She didn't respond. I told her I'd be back, as this required further consultation with Jane who was still in line with the dress bitch. She concurred that it was absolutely outrageous to spend that much on a pair of kid shoes, but decided to purchase them anyhow, so I went back to the shoe bitch. She reluctantly handed the box over to me and then implied that I was white trash by saying, "I assume that someone is wearing these in the store, but I need to see them before you can leave."

Since I had to finish working with the dress bitch, I sent Jane back to the shoe bitch who bitchily peeled a sticker off the bottom of the shoes then bitchily sent her back to the dress bitch to be rung up. After all of this, we left with a pair of overpriced shoes and absolutely no confirmation that a dress may or may not be shipped to Jane's house in 10 days or so.

After that, I abandoned Jane completely. Both my mom and the Boy's mom were with me, and they were hunting for Mother's of the Couple dresses. We had been quite successful at one branch of the local department store, but needed some sizes that were at the other branch of the store. So we sent Jane on the way back to the menfolk with the message that we were making a "quick stop" at the other store. We are LIARS! An hour and a half later, my PCS phone rang with my dad asking where in the hell were we? Um yeah. We suck. We returned to find the pizza Jane had ordered, picked up and paid for, and a bunch of grumpy men who had been slaving away on the house whilst we had scoured the store for the right sizes and colors of dresses and shoes and whatnot. I suck a lot. Sorry, Jane.

Later that night, I continued on my theme of "I suck" by getting on eBay and ordering a second flower girl dress. If Jane reads this journal, she'll be blowing mocha latte out her nose right now saying "Huh, wha????" because I haven't told her that I did this. But the dress was sooo cute! And even if it is the wrong shade of merlot, it'll be a fun play dress for Holly. Basically, what I may have done here is to have forced Jane into two separate but equally hellacious flower girl dress hunting expeditions only to order something completely untested off of the internet. I really suck. Sorry, again. But it is really cute.

In other weekend news, we destroyed the ceiling of what will someday be my bedroom and also completely ripped out the ceiling of the hallway. This has caused yet another battle with the Trashholes as I put about 600 lbs of debris on the curb for them to pick up this morning. After one of the bags burst, they put a bright orange sticker on the remaining bags informing me that I was in VIOLATION of the city trash rules. No shit, Sherlock. This time, they were right. I'm still pissed.

5:22 p.m. - August 30, 2004

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