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The Plight of the Garden Gnome

The Boy absolutely hates yard art of all types. For the most part, I agree with him that it usually just adds unnecessary and sometimes tasteless clutter, but there are two exceptions that I have made. One is the small cat statue that stands under a bush at the foot of the stairs leading up to the front porch. The second is the garden gnome I received for my birthday. I've always had a special place in my heart for garden gnomes. They're just so damn cute!

He hates the gnome, but since I did all of the work on the back garden area, the gnome has lazed away in the summer sun underneath bright pots full of impatients, coleus, etc. Until Monday morning...

Knowing that The Boy was headed to my house to borrow something, I ran out front and placed the garden gnome center stage on the recently completed stone wall. Since The Boy had been working at his house all day Sunday, he had no idea that we'd finished the wall. So when he arrived at my house, he saw the gnome lazing in the sun on top of a newly constructed wall. Tee hee!

The plight of the garden gnome is a tough one no mater where he takes up residence. Be it amongst the flowery seclusion of a bed of gerbera daisies in a suburban cul de sac or beneath the protection of a prickly yucca plant in a busy urban neighborhood, the garden gnome risks of being kidnapped run high. So after The Boy left, I knew I needed to move my gnome back to safety in the backyard. Before I got to that task, I witnessed a truly pleasing moment.

A young man with his pants hanging low and his hair in corn rows strolled down the sidewalk listening to music on his headphones. He seemed not to have a care in the world as he strolled past bopping his head to the music and struggling not to trip over the crotch of his pants. As he walked past, I saw him stop, turn back and then his face broke into a huge grin when he saw the gnome catching some rays. He turned and kept walking with even more of a bounce in his step. If only I could leave the gnome out there to bring more moments of joy to people. Alas, if I did, I know some white trash punk would steal my gnome and then I would be forever sad. Sigh.

Speaking of white trash, that was previously the only demographic not represented in my diverse neighborhood until I met my new rental neighbor from across the street. I kid you not, every time I saw him climb in his truck (and he came and went many times between 10:00 am and 7:00 pm), he had a beer in his hand. OR he was reaching into a special cooler compartment in the back of his truck for another beer BEFORE he would drive off. Greeeat. A drunk driver lives across the street. Lovely.

My garden gnome enjoying a brief vacation on the new wall.

1:59 p.m. - September 07, 2004

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