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Breakable Belle

So exciting news for me... I've had three or four people sign up for my Notify List over the past couple of weeks. I'd like to think it is because more and more people are realizing I'm an amazingly talented writer, but it is more likely that they got sick of checking back everyday to see if I'd updated seeing as I've been slacking off over the past couple of weeks. Sorry guys.

The reason I've been slacking is because I was actually chained to my job 24 hours a day for the past two weeks straight. Of course that means that I built up a little hatred of work so now I'm sitting at my desk barely able to focus at the tasks at hand. Sucky. Also in the past two weeks, I've attended two bachelorette parties, bought wedding thank you gifts for 85% of the people in the wedding party, managed to NOT send out the 40 thank you notes I've already written, FINALLY ordered a wedding ring for me, decided on a general schema for music and many other wedding shit related tasks.

Just today, The Boy and I spent our lunch hour picking out our wedding cake. Our cake lady RULES. Not only is she giving us a great deal, she had a picture of the cake she made for her sister's wedding which was awesome and we told her to make it just like that... only... I'm not a big fan of white cake, but I'm also very indecisive. There will be four layers of wedding cake. Each layer will be a different flavor. The biggest layer will be white cake with lemon filling, the next biggest will be chocolate cake with raspberry filling, the second smallest layer will be carrot cake with cream cheese filling, and the smallest top layer will be red velvet cake with cream cheese filling. Fuck all y'all and your standard white cake. I don't even like cake, but that assortment makes my tummy excited. Wooo!!! And all you wedding-planning chicks out there... get this... all of this plus delivery for about $1.60/slice. ROCK!

It's the little things in life.

Speaking of little things, this still makes me laugh at myself. Our goal on Monday was to purchase and wrap every last wedding thank you gift. Okay, that goal makes me laugh, too, but that's not the story I'm trying to tell. Near the end of the day, we were filled with shopping delirium due to the fact that it is virtually impossible to find four matching sets of jewelry. IMPOSSIBLE. But we did it. After that, it was all downhill. We managed to stave off the impulse buying for the most part until we reached Costco where I intended to purchase Holly's flower girl gift. Since she had long ago stated that she wanted to wear a yellow dress or to actually be the Flowah at my wedding, I thought it would be cute to get her one of the Princess dress-up ball gowns. I happened to have seen these name-brand play clothes at Costco and set forth to make the last purchase of the day. Only I was too late. The only sizes they had left were 7 - 14. Right near the rack of oversized dresses was a display of beautiful princess dolls. Mesmerized by the sparkly green eyes of Belle, I whisked her away to the checkout stand. Imagine my surprise as the checkout lady starts chatting it up about how pretty the doll is. Why yes, yes it is very pretty. And then she says:

I wanted to get one for my 3-year old, but I know she would break it right away.

Internally, I began racking my brain - why in the hell would a 3-year old break a doll? What kind of brute 3-year old is she? Would she rip the head off? What!!! Luckily, I didn't say anything. I just kept my mouth shut wondering if I'd underestimated the newtons of force that can be exerted by a three-year old. After checking out, I picked up my doll and walked towards the exit scanning the doll for signs of fragility. And there it was. "Collector's Edition - Porcelain Doll." I had just purchased a porcelain for a 3-year old. Dumbass. Don't worry, we stopped at Wallyworld on the way home and found the dress. Breakable Belle will have to wait until Christmas to make her appearance.

2:42 p.m. - October 20, 2004

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