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Brainwashed

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... jack shit if your true love is Nitpick - she hasn't bought a single gift for anyone yet. I'd better get right on that. Mmm hmm.

I would've updated on Thursday and Friday of last week, but I was busy getting brainwashed. My company provided us with two full days of cognitive therapy training disguised in the cloak of a company improvement workshop. It was actually a decently good program, but unfortunately, I couldn't glean as many pearls of wisdom as I might have due to the fact that my boss, his boss and 35 of my other co-workers were also sitting in the room. The program leaders actually had boxes of tissue placed in the center of each table and encouraged us to use them as needed. Yeah - the lack of tissues would've been what held me back from a major breakthrough, not the presence of all of the people who control my career and/or general financial livelihood.

Some people did manage to open up and share. And some people actually shared some pretty deep stuff - to the point of needing the tissues. Well, that's nice and all, except I kind of felt like they were emotionally poached by a paid facilitator looking for another quote to put on his promotional material. It was like Dr. Phil, only without the background in therapy and the wall full of psychology degrees. That facilitator got moved to the other room, and I don't think it was an accident. Anyhow, I think it is really great that my company got us thinking about the deep rooted problems that affect our self-image and how we deal with big and little problems right before the holidays. I think it is fantastic that they chose a program with the power to move people to tears in front of their peers and then sent them home for the weekend without any contact info for a professional that might be able to help them reconcile the person who walked in Thursday comfortable in their image at the office with the person who left on Friday with a tear-streaked face and snot on their sleeves. Special.

Empowered with my new set of affirmations - seriously - we were taught how to pull a Stuart Smalley with the "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me", I joined in the construction fun that is my home. Woo. Sheetrock was installed, fiberglass insulation inhaled then placed in my exterior walls. We even reengineered the top of the staircase that leads to the second floor and removed a door that used to close in the third floor. The third floor door removal pleases Eli immensely because he can still wiggle his way into a space in the corner of the third floor (read converted attic space) out to the eaves and peer out over the neighborhood through a tiny hole of daylight. Lording over the neighborhood makes for a happy cat. I'm hoping to insulate that ability away soon, however there is still a bit of wiring to be done in that corner before that is possible.

After all of that manual labor, I returned to the office this morning to push my papers. My head and neck hurt already. Love it. On top of that, I watched a KU game this weekend and then got sent to a link (click on samples, then click on 12) that reminded me of many lovely things about my� alma mater, and now I'm craving a trip to the bars of yesteryear. Oh well. I think I'll go to a business meeting instead. Okay, seriously - I typed "business meeting" and got pokey brain pain behind my eye. I think I have a physical aversion to work, and no amount of company-sponsored brainwashing seems capable of erasing it. Sad.

9:48 a.m. - December 13, 2004

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