-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't Sing

In about 15 minutes, my co-workers will coax me down to the water cooler where they have gathered a few treats in honor of my birthday which is tomorrow. What typically follows is a half-hearted attempt to sing happy birthday while the honoree smiles sheepishly and says, �gosh you guys, thanks!� But not today, I have a plan. When I am beckoned down there in just a few minutes, I will NOT stand outside the room waiting for them to shuffle their feet, say �happy birthday!� then start singing �Happy Birthday to you!� No, not this time! Instead I will walk right past them, into the glass-walled conference room and start eating the birthday treats they brought in my honor. Just you wait. They won�t know what to do�

Sure enough, shocked and stunned were my co-workers. No one has ever shown such disrespect for the annoying tradition that is singing �Happy Birthday� to your co-worker. I walked into the room, grabbed a donut, sat down in a chair and started talking to everyone like we�d already sung �Happy Birthday.� Meanwhile, my co-workers stood in stunned silence exchanging nervous glances and fidgeted while shuffling their feet. Were we really not going to sing �Happy Birthday????�

A couple tried to rouse the troops and get the song started, but I protested. It�s MY birthday celebration, and I insist on no singing! Eat your cake! Slowly but surely, everyone caught on. They did clap at one point, and that seemed to break the tension because shortly after the clapping, everyone really started digging into the spread. If you ask me, �Happy Birthday� is a really horrible song and most people, myself especially, are poor performers when it comes to singing it.

In other news, shit. Who am I kidding. The only other news is shit about the house. Last night, I finally got to move some clothes into the brand spankin� new closet in the guest bedroom. I about cried a little as I hung clothes neatly on the newly installed rods, and stacked sweaters and extra pillows on the shelves. Instantly, my anal retentiveness kicked in, and I begin to despise the multi-colored hangers that had snuck into my life over the past few years. If I had my way, I�d be like Taerna and have only matching white hangers in my closet. Unfortunately, my anal retentive nature lives in the shadow of my completely lazy nature so I live in only the western hemisphere of an organized world. The eastern hemisphere is a complete mess. Not that the eastern hemisphere of the world is a complete mess � shit, these analogies are getting worse and worse.

And by the way, can it get any more humid in Kansas City? All last night, I sported a lovely sweat mustache as I busied myself around the house. At one point, Ryan found me sitting on the floor with my head hanging over an air conditioning vent. It was nasty out! Even the cat was in a pissy mood. We had better hurry and get this work done soon before the sweltering prairie heat sets in.

I have to warn you � updates may become sparse again. I have the next couple of days off from work (YAY!) to move all the stuff out of Ryan�s house (BOO!) I�ll be back around on Monday (YAY!), but then travel Tuesday through Friday (BOO!) Maybe by the time I get back I can prepare a few before and after pictures of the last couple week�s efforts.

11:22 a.m. - May 11, 2005

previous - next