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Team Retreat Rider

By a strange twist of fate, I may be working with my younger brother on a staff retreat I'm planning for my team at work. I thought it would be fun to come up with a long list of demands for our event and sent them to him via email. Here's the list I started:

- No exposed man-made hard surfaces (including tile, concrete and veneered woods � natural woods okay so long as grown in the Northern Hemisphere).

- Tables should be rotated once every hour so that each follows the moon�s orbit.

- Any employee entering the meeting space should bow at the waist to a full 90 degree angle upon entering the room. They should never show their back to any of our attendees. Upon leaving the room, they should whistle a perfect D minor tone held for 4 seconds.

- Any food served to our attendees should be tasted and tested for poisons just prior to being served.

- At random time intervals, staff shall perform small tricks and or display special talents just outside our room so that if we happen to be looking out, we will be entertained.

- The meeting room should maintain a perfect 72 degree temperature for the duration of our meeting. We shall not be interrupted by the sound of the HVAC equipment nor slight drafts or breezes.

- A woman dressed in an otter�s costume shall serve as restroom attendant at the nearest women�s restroom. She should have a supply of Mentos, Chili Cheese Fritos, floss, United Colors of Benetton perfume, three packs of unopened playing cards (preferably Bicycle brand), orange flavored TicTacs, a Canadian penny and other pleasantries and necessities.

- At noon, as our meeting dismisses, we should be greeted by a fleet of bagpipers who will lead us out of the event center and to our lunch location across the street. They should play upbeat tunes to set a festive mood.

I don't think I'm too demanding, now am I?

12:23 p.m. - June 20, 2008

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