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30 Doctors Disagree...

Grab a snack, kids, this is going to be a long entry! Let�s begin.

I arrived at the hospital at 3:45 and found my way to the appropriate place. The lady at the desk didn�t take my name, but told me to wait for a nurse who would show me the way. A nurse came out and asked for my initials. I gave them to her and she escorted me to a tiny archaic exam room where she told me to sit tight, and the doctors would be in shortly. So I sat there wondering, Should I put on a gown? Sit on the table? Which doctors? How many? Finally, right around 4:00 p.m., three REALLY young �doctors� showed up. One introduced herself as a friend of Dr. M. and then asked to look at my leg. I stood up and hiked my pants up so they could all ohhhh and ahhhh! I asked if I should put on a gown, but they said no. Quickly, I found out that they were wrong.

They left the room and shut the door behind them. Almost as soon as the door shut, there was a knock � one of the other doctors wanted to touch it. �It blanches!� she cried out. I learned quickly that blanching means that it turns white when touched then turns back to it�s pissed off red color.

A couple of minutes later, three more doctors entered. After trying to look at it while I stood, one finally gave up and asked me to drop my pants and climb onto the table. They took pictures and as an afterthought offered me a sheet to cover my ass. The next set of doctors took it a step further and handed me a gown as they departed citing my comfort and privacy as a concern. I laughed a bit � the hallway was full of doctors waiting to look at my backside. Comfort and privacy went out the door long ago! This is what my little table looked like after I rolled around on it like a beached whale for over an hour:

In retrospect, I compare my grand rounds experience to Trick or Treating for doctors. They would knock, politely introduce themselves and then ask to take a look. Sometimes, they would end up in larger packs with five or six doctors craning their necks to get a look. Other times, it was a lonely nerdy doctor looking, touching and asking the same questions I�d been asked only seconds before. The whole process lasted about an hour and 15 minutes, and I think that over 30 doctors observed my legs during that time. After hearing the same questions over and over again, I started to give a little speech as soon as they asked me their first question. A basic exchange went a little something like this:

Doctor: When did it start?

Me: It started about 2 months ago when I was 19 weeks pregnant. I�m now almost 27 weeks pregnant. I don�t know if it was big or small when it started as I only really noticed it when it was all over my leg. It doesn�t hurt or itch. It is spreading a little bit around to the front of my leg. There is also a small spot on my left leg.

If I didn�t give the speech, I inevitably provided all of the information in my statement. Here are a few of my favorite comments:

Kiwi Doctor (presumably from New Zealand based on my interpretation of his accent): This is spectacular!

Hippie Doctor: I don�t want to touch it, but is it hard?

Young Doctor: Whoa! That�s crazy!

Bowtie Doctor: I�ve never seen such a pronounced specimen.

Weird Guy who may have been another patient or a med student running late: Oh, that�s all.

A number of the elder doctors stood around and speculated for a few minutes, but I could tell none of them were listening to each other because they were all talking over each other. This presented a problem to me, because I was straining to hear any possible diagnoses so that I could Google them, but all I heard was �rosy� and �inflammatory�. Not exactly precise Google searches. Another woman doctor tried to convince a few people that it could be a giant GA, but after googling that, I disagreed. A GA is a granuloma annulare which is typically a tiny spot about the size of a mosquito bite. My spot is about 3 feet long.

After awhile, the trickle of doctors started to slow and then stopped. I heard a nurse walking from room to room dismissing patients. I think I was the last to be let go.

So I thought I�d have to give the story of how the grand rounds went and then make you wait with me for a week on the diagnosis, however�..

DR. M. JUST CALLED!!!!

Annnnndddd�.. they still don�t really know what it is. There is nothing more that they want to do while I am still pregnant, so any further tests will wait until after the baby is born around Thanksgiving. In the meantime, here are the three theories they came up with:

1) I am experiencing the early stages of morphea � an autoimmune disorder that causes oval shaped patches of skin to become discolored and to harden. It is a form of scleroderma that doesn�t affect the organs. If this is the case, they would biopsy it again after I give birth and if confirmed see how it reacts to steroids, creams or light therapy. Or it might go away on its own.

2) Autoimmune reaction to having the Y chromosome present in my body. One doctor cited a case where a woman had a similar reaction while pregnant with a little boy. Seeing as I don�t know if I am having a boy or a girl, this theory can�t yet be dismissed. If this theory proves to be true, it will probably resolve on its own.

3) Something else. This is actually the most likely theory. None of the 30 doctors that looked at me had any conviction that they knew what it was. Most speculated that it would probably go away on its own.

Okay � after this super long entry, I�m spent and ready for next week�s vacation. I will say that if none of you comment or share your predictions as to what the hell is up with my leg, I will be very disappointed!

3:47 p.m. - August 22, 2008

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