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A Toddler on a Headset

Today is going to be a busy day. Woo! And I already feel like I didn't get any sleep. Double-woo! Things I must accomplish today include:

• Finish Meeting 1 Agenda
• Finish Meeting 2 Agenda
• Shop with Kiki at Lunch
• Participate in pissy business meeting
• Shower (missed that this morning)
• Attend a Couples' Shower in honor of me and The Boy
• Call Taerna's mom (I just did that. She ROCKS! Yay!)

Okay, there's a bunch of other shit to do, but I'm wasting time if I type about it. Plus, does anyone really care about my to-do list? Didn't think so. Next!

Last night, I called Paco to inform him that with Jane's permission, I had asked Elliot to light the candles on the altar for the wedding and he had accepted. There will be no slow processional down the aisle with a lit wick with inspirational music playing in the background for the candle lighting. Elliot will show up a bit early and light the candles before the guests arrive. My brother Chris, a former altar-boy extraordinaire, will be on hand to make sure none of the tapastries also get lit. A young Jewish boy with fire lighting Christian candles. I'm sure there's something sacrelig about that, but I don't really care. Elliot is always begging to light the candles at my house, and I figured it would be a good way to include him and would be something he would enjoy. Chris was employed as Candle Lighting Supervisor because some of the candleabras in that church are so tall that I can't even reach them, so I figured he'd come in handy. Plus, I don't think my Catholic breathern would find humor in the accidental torching of their altar by my Jewish nephew. Anywho, when I called, Holly figured out that it was me on the phone and asked to talk to me. Repeatedly. Loudly. So Paco gave in with the words, "Just a second, Holly, we need to put your headset on."

Insert record scratch sound effect here.

Headset??? I inquired, "Pray tell, a headset?" Paco informed me that they had purchased a headset for Holly to use when talking on the phone because she had trouble holding the phone near her mouth and no one could ever understand what she was saying. This is true. However, a headset? I can imagine Holly pacing around the living room holding a Polly Pocket doll in her fist and gesturing madly as she tries to broker a deal for weekly trips to the McDonald's Playland. Tee hee!!! A headset on a toddler!!!

After a lively discussion via headset with Holly regarding her friends at preschool, I proceeded to the Southland for a celebration of my cousin's 23rd birthday. While we were trying to locate one of the identical fake facade clad restaurants, this one featuring a Texas theme (fuck Texas), my mom called and informed me that Chris had been in an accident. He's okay and all, but some guy messed up the front end of his car. So that really sucks. Anyhow, he wasn't able to join us for the Cowboy Cut Steaks and line dancing waitstaff. Bummer dude. I was totally grossed out throughout dinner thanks to the Willie Nelson themed corner we were sitting in. Some freak restaurant theme idiot came up with the bright idea to hang a pair of fake hair braids with a red bandanna on the wall as a piece of Willie-morbilia. SOOOOO Nasty. Every time I looked up, I saw that nasty fake hair. Ew.

See. Aren't they nasty? Imagine eating with this hanging right in front of your face. Ew.

9:56 a.m. - September 24, 2004

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