-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's hope this is the Phucktographer Post
Oh God - it hurts. It HURTS!!! What might you ask is paining me so? Well try being nice to the Phucktographer for one. You see, yesterday, what I started to type was that the Phucktographer is the recent subject of multiple Better Business Bureau complaints as well as a very hot topic on a wedding message board. Greeeat. Just what a girl wants to hear 13 days prior to her wedding when she hasn't heard a peep out of the Phucker for more than three weeks despite numerous calls and emails. Just fabulous! After much discussion and a great amount of hypothesizing which included a call to a lawyer, we discovered that we were basically phucked. Even if we won a claim against the Phucktographer in small claims court, he could just file for bankruptcy and never ever pay us or deliver our photos. Phucking Phantastic. So I emailed him last night and finally, at 12:24 AM, he found it in his cold little grinchin heart to email me back and pretend like everything was phucking phabulous. I tried calling this morning, and low and behold, his phone was out of service. Oh no you di'int. Well, when that happened you can imagine what was going through my mind. The Phucktographer had gone out of business and was sitting on a beach with my money and no intentions of showing up on the 6th to take my picture. Phucker! So I sent a frantic email demanding he call me immediately (because that's worked so well over the past few months). Finally, just after 2:37 PM, his answering machine picked up, and I was able to leave another message. 30 minutes later, when I saw it was him on the line, I took a deep breath, shut my office door and prepared for the worst. Here are the thoughts that were going through my mind:
He has my phucking money
He won't give my phucking money back
I can sue him, but I still won't get my phucking money back
I have to be phucking nice to him or I can kiss my money goodbye
Phuck
So I put on my most sugary sweet voice and said, "This is Jennifer." I asked how he was doing, which he said he appreciated, and then answered some of his questions - he had my contract out along with my list of requests I'd sent him last week and was comparing and contrasting. Believe you me, I knew the response to every single one of his queries. Once we ascertained that the list indeed included contracted requests only, he agreed to deliver everything and was ready to hang up - only I put a stop to that.
"So, Mr. Phucktographer, I need to talk to you about a few allegations/rumors that have been floating around." The sugary sweet tone continues, "now I understand that this is all hearsay, and I don't know the specifics of what's going on with the people making these statements, but they sound too familiar to my situation for me to fully ignore. Yes, I know that you've been incredibly busy. Yes, I know that you said you'll be there and do as we've contracted you to do. Here's the thing... you suck a lot of ass and I phucking hate you..." Wait, I didn't say that. Instead I explained to him that I would like to hold his final payment until everything was delivered as contracted, that his track record with us hadn't been great, but that we were invested in his success with taking our wedding photos and that we just wanted to hold on to a little something that would ensure that everything would go as smoothly as planned. He didn't like that. He responded with a deep breath and then this:
"Fine."
So I may have pissed him off with that, but I feel better. I emailed him a summary of what we talked about with more sugary sweet crap. I even noted that he should alter the contract to indicate we were responsible for final payment once services were delivered. He responded with, "the contract is already in the mail, and I don't need written confirmation of that - I trust you." I trust you. What the phuck ever.
Hopefully, this is the end of the Phucktographer saga. In happy news, E bean, of Taerna fame, came to my rescue and took amazing engagement photos of The Boy and I on Saturday. We actually look human! He even managed to deal with the fact that we both blink like a million times a second. Check out this shot. LOVE IT!
4:14 p.m. - October 26, 2004
|
Journals I Read:
|
