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Snotty Haiku

Fantastic! I'm getting a cold! My nose is running, I've been sneezing like someone strapped a bag of pepper under my chin and I could fall asleep right now. Seriously - narcoleptically tired right now. Heh - spell check didn't like "narcoleptically." Whatever dude.

Let's see - it is the second to last Wedding Shit Wednesday of my life. I know. It has gone by so quickly. People keep asking me if I'm getting nervous. To be honest, I'm really not nervous yet. I'm sure I'm saving all of that for the hours directly building up to the ceremony. The one good thing about having a big wedding is that there is a lot of shit to do to make sure everything works like it is supposed to. Some people hate having a lot of shit to do, but I can contribute about 10 pounds of weight loss to being overburdened in the office and overwhelmed on the homefront. I'm almost back down to wrestling weight. Not that I ever wrestled, but I was a state champion weightlifter, so there's that.

I just rested my head on my hand with my elbow leaning on my desk which caused a direct path by which clear liquidy snot could rush down the inner canyon of my right nostril and pool gracefully just left of center on my chest. Lovely. I think I've been inspired to write a haiku:

Slippery snot slides
to a glistening phlegm pool
shining on my breast

Inspiration comes from the darndest places. So I mentioned earlier that I'm a bit overwhelmed. I am only overwhelmed in the sense that I haven't been able to make one consistent checklist that will allow me to check all this shit off and show that I've actually completed enough stuff that this wedding will actually work. Truthfully, I have a gigantically simple task sitting in front of me that will ensure that the wedding will actually work, however I've been putting it off for days. All I need to do is fax in the Banquet Event Order to the reception site so they know what food to cook and a ballpark of how many people to expect. It can still be altered up to three days prior to the event, however, I just can't get myself to sign it and send it in. Maybe this is a sign...

Alright. I just faxed it. I even waited for the confirmation sheet. Gettin' er dun! Woo! I really only did that because that allowed me to throw away about 6 sheets of paper that were outdated. And yes, throw away, not recycle. Shut up!

So the Access database I built to keep track of wedding shit is a rockin' and a rollin'. I am so happy I decided to say "fuck Excel" and upgrade to Access for this "project." I know you'll all think me freakish, but it has been so nice to be able to run queries, not duplicate data entry and on and on and on. People tell me you can do that shit in Excel with pivot tables, but I'm not hearin' it. I have about 20 queries written that let me answer a variety of questions quickly and efficiently including, but not limited to: Who hasn't RSVP'd? Who haven't I sent a Thank You to? How many people in each age category will be attending? and on and on. It is wonderful. Love it! If we do decide to do assigned seating at the last minute, I have a query that will pull all people who RSVP'd in the positive, the number in each age group in their party and their relationship to The Boy and I and whether or not they are my guest or his. Super rock.

Alright, I'd best stop typing this dribble and do something productive. Only 4.5 more days in the office and I'm outta here until November 29th. Woooooooooooo!

5:16 p.m. - October 27, 2004

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