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Honeymoon Recap

I don't think I'm ever going to have a chance to write about the actual wedding day. I will try to include a few details here and there, but basically I will probably end up repeating over and over how wonderful it was to see all of my friends and family in one room on one night. We were talking the other day about how everyone says their wedding day was a blur and you won't remember a thing. Mine wasn't. For whatever reason, the day moved at a normal pace. Things got a little rushed when lunch with the girls ran a few minutes long, but after that, it was smooth sailing. Hair was pinned up, make-up was applied, lunch was enjoyed, the dress was corseted, the shoes put on and the husband married. We left the party at 1:00 am (an hour later than planned) so that we could grab a few quick hours of sleep prior to departing for Hawaii. Let me just offend everyone right now...

Hawaii is not my dream vacation.

We chose Hawaii because it is warm, sunny, picturesque and my miles got us there for free. Hurricanes scared us away from the Caribbean, Central America was still in the midst of its rainy season, Australia required more miles and well, we just ran out of time to plan somewhere else. Waikiki confirmed immediately our reasoning for not listing Hawaii as the first stop. We arrived in Waikiki at about 6:00 pm, ran a comb through our hair, sprayed on a bit more perfume to hide the 12 hours of traveling smell and walked out to the shops. I wrinkled my nose at the 2 hour wait at the Cheesecake Factory. Yes, they have good food and portions that could feed a small village in Africa. But these fine features are available pretty much in any metropolitan area anywhere in the US. As we toured the islands, we found it a challenge to get past chain restaurants and even to find interesting cuisine. Seriously - every single restaurant seemed to offer a New York Strip and Maine Lobster. Hell, despite having driven past a gazillion shrimp farms, many menus still advertised Gulf shrimp. Anyhow, even more irritating than the lack of selection was the prices on food. Of course what do you expect for food that has to be imported from half a world away.

To battle this frustration, we made our way to the grocery store and learned to eat only food that could be prepared with the limited resources of your standard hotel room. Luckily, most places have mini fridges so we dined like kings on sandwiches, salad and pink dip. In case you don't know what pink dip is, it is salsa and cream cheese mixed together and eaten with tortilla chips. And before you wrinkle your nose, go mix some together. I think the official recipe is for equal parts of each. Yummy.

Most of the vacation was spent trying to maximize time in the sun. Mmmmm.... sun. We did rent some snorkeling gear and for the first time in my life, I peered into the deep waters below me without the protection of a thick pane of glass between me and the creatures of the sea. HOLY SHIT! THERE ARE FUCKING FISH DOWN THERE, AND THEY AREN'T AFRAID OF ME!!!! Seriously. That freaked my shit out. When I saw a little Flounder-looking fish swimming towards me, I about flipped out. Then came the sharks. Yes. Sharks. When we rented the gear, the lady said nothing about the sharks. There were fucking sharks. Three of them. They could swim fast - much faster than me, especially because upon seeing them, my arms and legs instantly gained the ability to circle in opposite directions. I can't do that normally. Afterwards, as I turned in the gear to the lady, she asked if I saw anything.

Me: We saw quite a few fish. I'm not exactly a marine biologist, but I think we also may have seen some small sharks.

Her: Oh, sand sharks. Yeah, there are a few out there. They are usually harmless.

Me: They totally freaked me out.

Her: Well... they do smell fear...

Yeah. That would've been good information to have prior to entering their natural habitat. Thanks snorkel lady. Despite that harrowing experience, we did decide to snorkel again in Maui. This time, I was freaked out by a damn puffer fish. That little bastard kept chasing me. At one point, we surfaced to figure out where we were and where to go next. When I put my face down, the first thing I saw was that punk puffer about three feet away from me. This time, I audibly shrieked under water. It may be a few more times before I gain the nerve to try scuba. Fun stuff though. I dig it.

We spent last week getting Ryan moved into my house and enjoying Thanksgiving at my parents house. Yes. I typed Ryan. That's "The Boy's" name. I'm calling him Ryan now because he agreed to be chained to me for life a few weeks ago and because typing Ryan is easier than typing The Boy. We faced our first marital challenge on Friday. As we sat down to eat some dinner in front of the TV, we noticed the TV flicker a bit. Then it went to all grey lines. Then it refused to respond to the remote. Ryan got up, hit the buttons on the TV and it refused to respond as well. I knew it was over. That TV had been with me since my second year in college. At almost ten years of age, it had a good life. It's time was up. It was declared that by end of day Saturday, we would purchase it's replacement. This meant in one day, we had to quickly refresh our discussions on budgeting and spending on large purchases. We had to agree on a style of TV, a place to purchase it from, a price range to stick to and most importantly, would we get satellite or cable TV immediately or would we wait. We had the added stress of the HDTV crap in there. I'm proud to say I think we found a TV we are both pleased with and that met all the criteria above. We still have to decide on satellite or cable, but baby steps here, people. We done good. Woo!

I hate to say this, but my updating my be a bit sporadic this week as well. I travel for work already this afternoon, but will be back Wednesday. I leave you with a picture that Ebean took on our wedding day. He told me it was one of his favorites. I think its pretty damn good as well.

10:25 a.m. - November 29, 2004

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