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New Year's Resolutions

I don�t know why I bother to wear turtlenecks. I always end up tugging at the neck and itching my neck and generally just counting the minutes until I can remove the blasted thing. Last year, blinded by the clearance signs, I bought three of the damn things. Now I feel obligated to wear them so I didn�t waste money. I�m in hell. I resolve to buy no new turtlenecks in 2005.

I went to the dentist yesterday, thus my lack of update. I think there should be a rule that the dental hygienist only gets one shot at each tooth with the scraping tool. None of this going back and picking at a piece of persistent plaque that she didn�t get the first time crap � you know when she stabbed the gum and caused it to bleed making it so she couldn�t see the plaque then waited for the blood to clot so she could return, remove the clot and stab into the already sore and swollen flesh. At this point, the lecture starts and she insists that it is your fault that you are bleeding because you don�t floss regularly. I mean I don�t floss regularly, but I think the sharp pokey tool thrust into the ne�er exposed flesh just below my gumline may have caused the bleeding. I don�t know. I�m no expert. Speaking of flossing, can they choose a worse time to promote flossing than after a cleaning? What makes them think that injured gum tissue sandblasted with mint-flavored tooth polish is primed for a piece of dental floss? Fucking ouch, people! I resolve to floss more in 2005 to determine once and for all if it really does make the dental hygienist step away from the pokey tool at my next visit.

Once finished at the dentist, I decided to go get my new driver�s license. I hadn�t looked up the location of the driver�s license bureau, but I vaguely remembered the location from when I got my license a couple of years ago. As I ventured into downtown Kansas City, I admired the numerous new metal plates they�d installed in the middle of the roadways to cover up potholes. My how they clank loudly and jolt the frame of my car as I pass over each one. I had just paid off my car � as in no more car payments on this vehicle EVER � earlier in the day. Each time my tires rammed into the edge of yet another plate, I cringed. I resolve to slow down over those damn plates in 2005.

I think if I can accomplish those three things, 2005 shouldn�t suck a whole lot.

In other news, it is supposed to get crap ass nasty here in Kansas City in the next few hours. I just saw the first four raindrops hit my office window, and if you believe the weather people (I hate Sleezak), then those drops are the scouts, and the rest of the tribe isn�t far behind, and the tribe is PIIIII-ISSED!

The weather people (goddamn Sleezak) keep hinting at the ice storm we had back in 2002 where some people in Kansas City went without power for ten days. Here�s some classic Jane if you want the scoop on that storm. Had I been journaling in those days, I would�ve bragged that I am on the uber-power grid and only lost power for a few minutes during the whole ordeal. On the way back from New Years in Salina, Ryan and I were discussing the potential purchase of a new car for him, and we discussed the downside of our shitty steep driveway with no covered or enclosed parking for protection of the new vehicle. I quipped that while I absolutely love the gigantic tree in my backyard, it would�ve been convenient if it had taken a fall in that 2002 storm so that we could even out the driveway and build a small garage to protect said new car. Maybe this is my chance. Bring it on, Sleezak!

1:17 p.m. - January 04, 2005

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