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Hacking cat

A heavy snow warning is in effect for all us Kansas Citians today. My hatred for the local weather people swells during times like these. One forecaster actually said we can expect �3 to 6 or 4 to 7 inches of snow by tomorrow morning.� Wouldn�t it have been more appropriate to just say �3 to 7 inches?� You know I never completed my meteorology class in college. I tried taking the course my freshman year, first semester. It wasn�t that it was a hard subject matter, it was that the class began at 7:30 am, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That same timeslot kept me from learning about Greek and Roman Mythology and gave me my only failing grade ever in college � je ne parle pas Francais eh er, um very good.

Super sleepy, I happily rolled into bed exactly at 10:00 pm last night. Cuddled under the fluffy down blanket and my fluffy down comforter, I was in the paralyzing stage 5 of deep REM sleep. Did you know that you are actually paralyzed during stage 5 sleep? Creepy, eh? Anywho, I was twitching and dreaming deeply when suddenly, the cat leapt up on my side of the bed. He nudged the edge of the blankets, and I drearily lifted them so he could crawl underneath the blankets and curl up by my chest. He began purring immediately, and I slowly started to drift back to sleep� until an undeterminable period of time later when he started wheezing and hacking.

Startled, I woke up and threw back the covers to discover Eli hacking away in a small, pained ball of cat. Poor little guy. He walked a couple of steps up towards my pillow and continued wheezing and then started making the unmistakable noise of impending cat puke. Oh no you di�int! Ryan sat up, startled and yelled �Are you choking??!!! Are you okay???!!� I ignored him for a moment while I scooped up the cat and put him on the floor right next to my brand new slippers. Meanwhile, Ryan thought I was falling out of bed choking to death. He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back. I don�t know exactly what I said, but somehow I was able to convince him that I was fine, but Eli might not be. In all of the commotion, Eli stopped hacking. With little more than a grunt in my general direction, Ryan rolled back over and instantly went to sleep. I spent a few minutes petting Eli and he calmed down. Tragedy was avoided� for now. I love that cat, but there is no way in hell I�m letting him puke on my pillow.

I need to find some time in the next couple of days to devote to what potentially may be a new Valentine�s Day tradition. Most of my life, I have turned a nose up at this holiday thinking it just another marketing ploy to make America fatter via the sale of chocolate and the encouragement to dine out. Last week, Ryan and I saw a Valentine�s themed commercial, and I jokingly said that since we are married now, that his exemption from sending overpriced roses had run out and that I was expecting nothing short of the most fabulous display of love and affection that my office had ever seen. That got me thinking, and we hatched a plan � nay a contest. The name of this contest is �Ten bucks says I love you more.� The idea is that we each have $10 with which to create the most fabulous display of love and affection that either of us has ever seen. We�ll be competing against each other to come up with cheesy over-the-top gestures to display our undying love and commitment to each other. We can spend no more than $10, but we can use anything we have lying around the house to contribute to our grand gesture. My initial thoughts involved the purchase of as many votive candles as $10 would buy, but the infusion of Eli and an abundance of exposed timber in the house due to the remodeling efforts may put a damper on that. This could be fun�

10:46 a.m. - February 08, 2005

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