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CRYSTAL!!!!

People. If you are in a public place, can you please try NOT to end your marriage, affair or long-term relationship on your cell phone? I appreciate that life happens, and that sometimes, uncomfortable conversations occur while on the cell phone, but I really don�t need to hear you fight with your significant other while I wait to catch a flight home. Yesterday�s incident was not the first as three times now I have witnessed three different men ripping their significant others a new asshole while pacing in a cramped aisle of seats in an overly crowded waiting area. Who in the hell are these jerks?

Yesterday, I was innocently answering work emails while waiting for my flight. I had found a blessed plug-in along the wall and was typing away. Woo productivity! I was then interrupted by the violent flip open of a cell phone only one seat away from me. I am positive that the person on the other end of the line didn�t even have a chance to say anything. The man flipped open his phone and bellowed �CRYSTAL! I TOLD YOU I WON�T GO INTO THIS!�

He then proceeded to go into �this.� Without allowing �Crystal� to speak, he instantly launched into a two minute diatribe that gave me all the background one would need to assess the status of this relationship. It included a recap of how he�s talked to Crystal about �this� before, and he knows she has talked to her friends and her mother and her sister and everyone agrees that Crystal is in the wrong and that she needs to just accept it and move on and act like a grown-up. He never specifically said what �this� and �it� were, but by his forceful repetition of the lineage of who has talked to whom about �this� and the timeline of how everyone has agreed to the same resolution, known universally as �it�, I would have to make the assumption that Crystal is well versed in �this� and �it� and that she is just refusing to acknowledge �this� and therefore is unwilling to do �it�.

Now you might say that I shouldn�t eavesdrop and you are probably right, but for crying out loud, the guy was right next to me! AND, to make matters worse, he finally got so irritated with Crystal that he stood up and walked to the window which was closer to and in fact right in front of me. Even more obnoxious, he began each statement by saying �Crystal� loudly and clearly like he was speaking to a child. Ironically, I think he was so deeply involved in belittling her through childlike explanations of why she was wrong and he was right that I don�t think he was even paying attention to the fact that he was suggesting the end of his marriage in front of about 50 complete strangers. Oh, and I only know that he was suggesting the end of his marriage because he ended the call abruptly by bellowing �CRYSTAL! If you don�t understand that this is your fault and if you won�t accept it, then this marriage will end!� That will teach her to pay more attention to �this� and �it�.

After clapping his phone shut, he paced back and forth in front of me and a couple of empty seats for a minute or so. After a few crazy eyed heavy breathing steps, and a whole hell of a lot of huffing and exaggerated exhales, he opened the phone and dialed a number. Guess who! �CRYSTAL!� he bleated. I thought about giving him a dirty look as he started pacing back towards me all the while verbally abusing Crystal, but then I thought better to not get involved. When someone is so violent on the phone in public, one can only guess that they don�t have the social skills to process a look suggesting that those around them would prefer if they handled the issue in a more private location. Plus, I really should do my best to mind my own business. After a few more minutes of yelling at Crystal, he hung up on her. Not surprisingly, his phone started ringing. He never answered it and also never bothered to silence his phone. This went on for a good 20 minutes. Fabulous. So happy that my flight was delayed � so freakin� happy.

5:53 p.m. - March 08, 2006

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