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Bewildered

I think I'm destined to end up in a medical journal. I can see it now - a really awful picture of my legs and cellulite laden thighs with a caption underneath that reads: Figure 1: 31 year old female; undiagnosed skin disorder.

Yesterday's visit was just as productive as Friday's visit. I swear this doctor was Doogie Howser's sister. I have finally reached an age where it is possible to have a doctor younger than me, and I find it quite unnerving. In all her year of medical practice, she, too, had never seen anything like the reddness on my legs. Had I been laying on a heat pad? No. Had I been exposed to anything out of the ordinary? No. Are you sure you haven't been laying on a heat pad? No.

Bewildered, she suggested we biopsy the skin. I asked what she was looking for and how she would treat it. She replied that she wasn't sure if they would find anything or if they would treat it seeing as I am pregnant. She noted that the discoloration on my leg was actually more noticable from a distance (like a Monet!) and found a spot on my left leg. She then requested that I lay on my stomach so she could get a closer look. The baby was not amused.

She took a good look then asked me to remain on the table while she asked her partner to take a look. After a few minutes, the two doctors returned and went through a list of possible causes with crazy Latin names ruling each out. They summarized:

Female doctor: Wierd
Male doctor: Wierd
Simutaneously: We should biopsy it.

The male doctor left, and the female doctor injected my back upper thigh with some numbing material and took a sliver of my skin. As she filled out the forms, she audibly mused, "I wonder what I should call this a screen for..." She then informed me that she and male doctor had studied together and he was really good at figuring out the abnormal stuff. He'd be reviewing the pathology. Greeeeat.

As she bandaged me up, she noted that today had been a crazy day as she just got back from vacation and found that she had four add-ons to her schedule. I apologized and told her I was one of those add-on cases. She replied, "Oh no! Thank you for coming in! This is interesting!"

Overall, I find it interesting the newfound honesty of medical professionals. Between the 30 year vet on Friday and these younger doctors, none were afraid to tell me that they have no idea what is wrong with my skin. Female doc did say that she could probably rule out anything that would be harmful to my wee one, so at least there is that. I'm sure now that I'll wait for a week to get a message on the machine indicating "unspecific diagnosis. No further follow-up necessary." Unless of course they decide that publishing my case will help their careers!

12:06 p.m. - July 22, 2008

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