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Fancy That

Grrrrrr. I actually left the office, drove all the way to my new college campus only to discover that I could complete none of my tasks. Not a single one. The guy who creates the student IDs was at lunch, and without a student ID, there is no way for me to open my campus email account. Two tasks killed with one lost stoner. I found my way to the bookstore only to discover that they were just starting to put books on the shelves. They informed me that they will have the books on the shelves by Friday. Odd then, that they would advertise that today is the day to come in and buy one�s books. No matter that I have to read the first three chapters of an un-purchased book by next Monday night. Bastards! All frustrations aside, it was nice to get outside over my lunch break. The weather has been strangely nice for the past few days, and due to work and other responsibilities, I haven�t had a chance to enjoy it.

Last night was mostly uneventful. To avoid having to go to the grocery store, I decided to make my own spaghetti sauce. It turned out surprisingly good. Ryan was preparing to leave for an impromptu business trip, so he hurried about ironing shirts and whatnot. Eli was pissed because the Costco cat food we purchase him changed ever so slightly to now consist of larger pieces of kibble. To help aid in the transition, I mixed the remaining amount of his old food in with his new food. When I woke up this morning, I checked to see if he needed more kibble and discovered that only large pieces of kibble remained. I swear to you that cat only ate the smaller pieces of kibble. He even foraged out to find the smaller pieces of kibble that he had escaped his bowl. Freak cat.

Speaking of cats, I finally revealed to Jane my greatest prank of 2005 today. It was killing me not to take ownership, and she and Paco had denied me any of the joy of the prank. One of my cousins was selling magazine subscriptions to raise money for her school. Since I spent the better part of my youth conning family members and complete strangers into buying shit they didn�t need, I figured it was only fair to return the favor. In reviewing the list of magazines, I couldn�t find any that Ryan or I wanted or needed. We did decided to take on a wine magazine, but there weren�t any other titles catching my eye. Then, I spied Cat Fancy. I immediately thought of Jane. Readers of her journal can reference any number of stories in which she curses her cats. My favorite is the Possum Affair of 2002. Anyhow, for whatever reason, it amused me to no end that afternoon to imagine Jane and Tim receiving their first copy of Cat Fancy and wondering where in the hell it came from. I imagined after the guessing ended that with much shame, one of the two would soon be caught reading Cat Fancy with a cat either on their lap or perched on the arm rest next to them. This made me laugh.

I think that was in October. A few weeks later, my wine magazine started coming, and I was reminded of Jane�s unexpected subscription to Cat Fancy. I wondered if it had yet arrived. I tried thinking of clever ways to inquire, but never came up with any. When I went to their house, I forgot to look in the magazine pile to see if Cat Fancy had yet arrived. About that time, I was given the Cat Fight Champion wife beater of which Jane had great envy. I�d planned to give her the wife beater at Christmas, but forgot to do that, too. How cool would it have been if they received their first issue of Cat Fancy the next day!!! Alas, they said nothing of the subscription. Anyhow, for whatever reason, I decided that today I would turn myself in. For all I knew, she had never received the magazine.

I wasn�t surprised to learn that she is receiving the magazine and is also in fact reading it. She reported that the prank did inspire a �What the fuck?� conversation during which she and Paco tried to determine the source of the subscription. Others were blamed, but I remained under the radar. It is really pathetic, the things that amuse me.

6:24 p.m. - January 04, 2006

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